The Great Institution of Chatham Street (TGI of CS) is not open to the masses 24 hours a day. This is a situation that I often have difficulty dealing with. It’s a cross I am obliged to carry. I like to think that I bear this affliction with the utmost grace and dignity.

As such there are occasions when I am forced to be elsewhere on this planet. The occasions when I feel the need for sleep and food.

Not forgetting those times of sporting significance which require my utmost attention in order that I have something of note to relate when I do make my epic journey over the River Liffey and cross the threshold of TGI of CS.

This morning was one such occasion when my undivided attention was called for. Irelands second game in the Rugby World Cup.

The Japs were up.

Japan kicked off the tournament with an expected win over Russia. We demolished the Scots. Time to go head to head with the hosts. The rumble in Shizuoka. The Samurai versus The Shamrocks.

It’s an early kick off. The analysts are confident. The mug of Barry’s tea is in hand. The toast is buttered. I’m all set.

Hugh Cahill and Donal Lenihan are our men on the spot. No technical difficulties this time around, the lads are coming in loud and clear.

Japan start well, almost get a try, miss a penalty. Clearly they have not read the script. Heart beating faster than normal. Ireland hit back. They take the lead. Heart rate returns to square one. Japan get off the mark. Ireland get a second try. Japan come back with two penalties, almost score a try just before half time. Don’t they realise we’re supposed to win? Ireland up 12-9 at the break. What a game.

Second half gets going. Japan miss a chance to draw level. They’re looking good. They get a try, convert it. They’re up 16-12. Heart rate heading back up again. Japan put over another penalty. 19-12. The Emergency Services are on speed dial. Japan almost score a breakaway try and run out deserving winners 19-12.

All of a sudden my wager with Paddy Power is looking decidedly shaky. I am beginning to see why Paddy is a successful businessman and I am not.

The ambulance has just arrived.